Man Talk: Fundamentals

  For my first Man Talk Thursday (I know it's Friday but I started writing it last night), I wanted to start with the basics.  There are so many things I want to talk about that it's hard for me to organize them and put an order of importance on them.  So I'll start with the problem and the prerequisites for how we fix it.  This is long so take a big breath.

Here's the issue:  Where are the men?  Specifically in the church.  A large majority of the faithful church members in America are women.  Most of the members who serve in a ministry are women.  Don't get me wrong, women need to serve as well, but in the Bible God clearly sets out leadership as the role for the man.  We've sissified the way we do worship and even the way our churches are decorated to accommodate women, because that's who mostly attends.

The next book I want to read is one we mentioned a couple of times recently in "The Man Class" at church, called Guyland by Michael Kimmel.  Here's the synopsis which does a pretty good job of defining the problem, even from a secular standpoint:

The passage from adolescence to adulthood was once clear. Today, growing up has become more complex and confusing, as young men drift casually through college and beyond—hanging out, partying, playing with tech toys, watching sports. But beneath the appearance of a simple extended boyhood, a more dangerous social world has developed, far away from the traditional signposts and cultural signals that once helped boys navigate their way to manhood—a territory Michael Kimmel has identified as "Guyland."

Coming from somebody who just recently graduated from college, I definitely understand the appeal of this "guyland" we've created.  In the past as a boy grew older he was given more responsibility and eventually became a man.  But now, you don't really have to if you don't want to.  A variety of issues have led to growing up not being necessary until a male is almost thirty if they choose.  

1.    Society has redefined masculinity and pushed us to embrace our "feminine side". WHAT?! As men we can have feelings, we can laugh and cry together at the appropriate times, but we shouldn't have to become women to do that.  Or there's the other extreme where we try to show off how macho we are all the time.  Who hits hardest and burps the loudest? He's the man. Wrong. Mark Driscoll has a great sermon here about where real masculinity is and how it's neither of those. 

2.    Another issue is how we spend our time, especially college-aged men.  I'm not saying older guys don't deal with this too, but in college (and even high school) I wasted a lot of time on video games, browsing the internet and watching TV/movies.  We don't accept responsibility and we spend every free second we have on fleeting stuff. I like video games. A lot actually.  But when we stand before God to be judged will we be able to say that the time we spent playing games actually meant anything?  When I start playing a game I have this unexplainable impulse to know every detail of the story and beat all the sidequests to 100% completion. WHY?  Does it develop my character? Does it help me love my neighbor or my wife?  Does it bring me closer to God?  But that's getting into another subject that I want to talk about some other time: idolatry
   What this boils down to is laziness and selfishness.  We aren't pushed to work hard or take responsibility so we play all day.  We're old enough to be grown ups, but we've settled for acting like little kids.  




The Solution:  We need boys to grow up and be men.  Men who aren't afraid to fight the good fight for integrity and purity, both personal and for their families.  Men who teach their boys to grow up and be men and who teach their daughters that they are loved and shouldn't settle for immature little boys.


But how do we get there?


1. Salvation.  Jesus was the ultimate man.  Not the lame girly Jesus with silky hair and a soft glowing radiance that we always see in Sunday School pictures:

This guy. Not really masculine. But the Jesus who was the ultimate counter-culture figure?  Who told society that women and children were worth more than just property;  the same Jesus that made a whip and drove money changers out of the temple; the same Jesus that will come back with his robe dipped in blood, out of whose mouth will come a sword to strike down the nations? He's definitely masculine. Sounds awesome right?  We are promised all of His power through the Holy Spirit if we will ask Him to forgive our sins and be our Lord. Until we have Salvation through Jesus Christ's death and resurrection we are incapable of doing anything different.

2.  Take responsibility.  Make Christ your (our) priority.  We spend time reading the Bible and praying, and being involved in the local church body.  The more we know him and adjust our lives to true Biblical manhood, we will see a change.  What does that look like practically? Stay tuned for more Man Talks to find out.






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PS - I just saw this commercial for the new Double Down from KFC.  If this isn't an insult to manhood I don't know what is.  This is so laughable.  First, this has to be the most unhealthy thing on the planet for you. And then they write the commercial so they may as well be saying "If you're a man, you better get to KFC pronto and start shoving these in your face! You girl!"  Please.  If you have any self respect you will not let fried chicken determine what is manly for you. That is all.